Love Seeps Through, At Last!

Words abuzz in my head. 2007 budget plan, research, meetings, do I have a 9Am tomorrow? Expenses, investments, here's some revenue...Waiting for people to get back to me, waiting for the subway, waiting for the next big thing. Rushing, running out of breath...Aching feet, running out of breath. I have 20 minutes to get ready. I can squeeze in another slide. My neck feels tight. Must schedule massage appointment.

OK, time to get ready. Take off the PJs, find the dress. Where the hell did I hang it? My mom is right, I have too many clothes. I found the shawl and the bolero. Where is the dress? Never mind, jump into the shower, think where you last saw the brown evening gown while conditioning hair. I am dripping on the hardwood floors. Here it is! Behind the long coat, that's why I didn't see it. Let's get into it. Is it too tight? Shimmy, shimmy, shimmy... ok, it sits fine now on my waist. Tie it in the back. No, untie that ribbon, the necklace is caught in it. 10 minutes left and the car will be here. Rush, rush, rush. Don't make the girl wait downstairs. She is nice enough to give you a ride. Makeup! I need to put on some lipstick. Spray glue on the hair. Eliminate frizz. No chance, it might rain again. Forget hair glue, it will make it stickier.

Phone rings. Don't answer it, you don't have time to chat. Eeek, do I need stockings? Not with those shoes. Where is the other one? I cannot find the other pair. It fell in the back of the shoe cabinet. Reach in but do not scratch the ring. Here we go. I can do anything on my own. Don't need help. Well, maybe some...Is that her honking downstairs? OK, I'm coming down! Where are the keys? Shoot! Ah, they're in my purse. Amazing, I must have planned ahead.

Go down the stairs one by one, careful, don't catch your trail with the heels. Smile and maybe she'll forget about waiting in the car. Pull out the map and offer help to get on the BQE. Drive, drive, drive. Leave the car in the valet's care. Don't worry about the bag left in the car, you can always go back.

Enter reception hall. Sit and wait and talk and walk and say hello and sit and wait and look around. They announced the ceremony. Proceed to the gazebo area. Grab a chair in the sun, you left the bolero in the car. That's the groom walking down the aisle with his parents. Hold your breath, do not cry. They went through so much to get there. You heard all about it, watched it as they went along their journey. There is the bride! She is sobbing. OK, time to whip out the kleenex batch; otherwise makeup will run.

They meet at the altar. They ignore the rabii's caution not to touch each other before getting married. They say words of commitment, pure, raw emotion. And they kiss, with hands cusping each other's face, locking into an eternal figure eight. Ahhh, love...finally.

Bu da Gecer Yahu - This Too Shall Pass

I had an odd day, beginning with a complaint from my friend cited below saying she was not so miserable - indeed, she was strong and standing tall unlike I described below. But she did cry when she read the entry. It's nerves, not weakness, I agree. (Why do people say they cry when they read my write-ups? I am aspiring to be a humorist, must change angle or something.) To set the record straight, I do believe she is one of the most resilient people I have met who has endured much more.

All that is left to say in times like this is the good old Istanbul saying "bu da gecer yahu," meaning "this too shall pass." To manage the ups and downs of the unknown, to build courage and to believe that they would see the light at the end of the tunnel, Istanbulis would buy small frames with this writing on it and hang it in their offices, living rooms, bedrooms...wherever darkness may hit until dawn cracks again.

Looking for Home in a Man

My friend cried to me over the phone, "...but I valued him so much, and I still do think he is a decent person, I just cannot understand how he didn't value me back." The shock of breakup had knocked her silly. She still tried to see the good in him, to justify her dreams for wanting to be with him for the long term.

Love wounds stink! Especially if they are opened by someone whom you trade in for family, friends and in this case homecountry. They had been friends since 6th grade back in Turkey. He shared a classroom with her, wishing he could be so lucky to go out with her. When bumping into each other in New York, they shared a few weeks of intense romance--after which he chose reclusivity with complete disregard for her feelings and no intention to explain himself. Within the space of a week, she went from having a partner who spoke her language, enjoyed the same cuisine, understood her subtle jokes to facing a brick wall that would not budge. She thought she had found a new home in her newfound city, but she was left in the cold.

My advice? Enjoy the people of New York! There are many here who share the same ideals and agree to treat others the same even if they come from different backgrounds. True, there may be cultural variences between: (Without getting too deep into stereotypes and speaking solely from personal experience) Someone may seem a bit reserved but polite, because they were educated by the British. Anoter may tell tall tales of how sweet you are, because compliments are part of the male dialect in Latin America. And some may just feel compelled to share their food with you because in North Africa, that's just what they do.

Why chase those who do not have time to send back an email or pick up the phone, when there are so many who are ready to take you to the salsa floor? And if someone reminds you of home, it should be because they protect you like a father, stand by you like a brother and love you like a mother. Speaking the same language, alma mater or hometown unfortunately doesn't guarantee dedicated love.