Looking for Home in a Man
My friend cried to me over the phone, "...but I valued him so much, and I still do think he is a decent person, I just cannot understand how he didn't value me back." The shock of breakup had knocked her silly. She still tried to see the good in him, to justify her dreams for wanting to be with him for the long term.
Love wounds stink! Especially if they are opened by someone whom you trade in for family, friends and in this case homecountry. They had been friends since 6th grade back in Turkey. He shared a classroom with her, wishing he could be so lucky to go out with her. When bumping into each other in New York, they shared a few weeks of intense romance--after which he chose reclusivity with complete disregard for her feelings and no intention to explain himself. Within the space of a week, she went from having a partner who spoke her language, enjoyed the same cuisine, understood her subtle jokes to facing a brick wall that would not budge. She thought she had found a new home in her newfound city, but she was left in the cold.
My advice? Enjoy the people of New York! There are many here who share the same ideals and agree to treat others the same even if they come from different backgrounds. True, there may be cultural variences between: (Without getting too deep into stereotypes and speaking solely from personal experience) Someone may seem a bit reserved but polite, because they were educated by the British. Anoter may tell tall tales of how sweet you are, because compliments are part of the male dialect in Latin America. And some may just feel compelled to share their food with you because in North Africa, that's just what they do.
Why chase those who do not have time to send back an email or pick up the phone, when there are so many who are ready to take you to the salsa floor? And if someone reminds you of home, it should be because they protect you like a father, stand by you like a brother and love you like a mother. Speaking the same language, alma mater or hometown unfortunately doesn't guarantee dedicated love.
Love wounds stink! Especially if they are opened by someone whom you trade in for family, friends and in this case homecountry. They had been friends since 6th grade back in Turkey. He shared a classroom with her, wishing he could be so lucky to go out with her. When bumping into each other in New York, they shared a few weeks of intense romance--after which he chose reclusivity with complete disregard for her feelings and no intention to explain himself. Within the space of a week, she went from having a partner who spoke her language, enjoyed the same cuisine, understood her subtle jokes to facing a brick wall that would not budge. She thought she had found a new home in her newfound city, but she was left in the cold.
My advice? Enjoy the people of New York! There are many here who share the same ideals and agree to treat others the same even if they come from different backgrounds. True, there may be cultural variences between: (Without getting too deep into stereotypes and speaking solely from personal experience) Someone may seem a bit reserved but polite, because they were educated by the British. Anoter may tell tall tales of how sweet you are, because compliments are part of the male dialect in Latin America. And some may just feel compelled to share their food with you because in North Africa, that's just what they do.
Why chase those who do not have time to send back an email or pick up the phone, when there are so many who are ready to take you to the salsa floor? And if someone reminds you of home, it should be because they protect you like a father, stand by you like a brother and love you like a mother. Speaking the same language, alma mater or hometown unfortunately doesn't guarantee dedicated love.
posted by Mimi Media @ 11:44 PM
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