Loneliness

How could I keep a blog about living abroad, away from your family and not mention loneliness? I am not talking about the obvious sadness that comes from being away from your homeland. I mean the loneliness you feel in your adopted home, when someone you have counted on as a friend and treated almost as your new family member fails you.

I am disappointed beyond words when friendships end for no good reason. When they just fizzle as if they had no character to begin with. (Whereas, you knew the relationship to be strong and the bond to be sincere.) There is honor in having a fight, saying "no more" outright. But when it's so dead that you do not even bother to bang the door, then the whole friendship feels fake, wasted, lofty...

"It's part of becoming an adult," another friends offers consolation. "We witness people go through life events, change, grow distant...It happens to all of us," she explains. Perhaps...

I remember the words of a wise girl I had met in college. I was so thankful for her friendship and sane advice amidst the storm of heavy-load classes, dormitory cliques and culture clashes that I told her I thought she was the best! She refused. "I do not want you to think of me that way," she said immediately. "Why?" I asked, surprised to hear someone reject the compliment of all compliments. "Because I will inevitably do something that will disappoint you. I do not want to fall short of your expectations. We all do, eventually," she said. Looking back, I know she was right. But so was I. She was pretty cool and gave sound advice.